Cross Bar in the Heat
by do-the-unthinkable
Summary: Unfortunately for Naruto, Kyuubi's untimely sexdrive has gone OVERBOARD, and Kyuubi refuses to contain herself. So at night, she takes over in secret to 'assault' her next victim... full Summary inside. SasuNaru! CH6 UP!
1. Chapter 1

**TITLE:** Cross Bar in the Heat

**Dear reader's of my new story of mass destruction**: First Things First: This will contain YAOI, so if you either don't know what that means or don't like it, GET THE HELL OUT! I'm not in the mood for critism, unless its the good kind, so don't piss me off more than I already am. glares and points to the BACK button

Now to get down to it Watches the last of the Yaoi hater's mumble and click the button This will be my SECOND fic, for all those who read, hated and or loved my first one, This will contain HUMOR and DIRTY-MINDED JOKES, if you know what I mean. THIS CHAPPIE IS A **PROLOUGE, ** and I'm willing to destroy this story if I'm reivewless and hated. ( Which will unfortunatly piss me off more, to those Yaoi-haters when they could at least _try _ to stand the heat!) I'm NOT going to be doing all the work myself, and I NEED YOU PEOPLES INPUT! so place a suggestion in that box when or IF you review. Definite SasuNaru, but suggestions for other pairings too, and have them make sense,please!? Non of that random GaaraOro crap. shivers ..ewww...thats gross..

**SUMMARY: **Unfortunately for Naruto, Kyuubi's untimely sex-drive has gone OVERBOARD, and Kyuubi refuses to contain herself. So at night, she takes over in secret to 'assault' her next victim. Nearly everyone in the village of Konoha has either fallin' for Naruto crotch or painstakingly stalked him for the juiciest of Blackmail, and Naruto has no idea what's gotten into these people! Kyuubi has her eyes set on a certain Uchiha and Naruto is just starting to pull the pieces together. Will Naruto be able to keep Kyuubi in check, before she screws the love of his life?

**AGES: **Naruto- 17

Sakura- 17

Sasuke- 18

Lee- 18

Gaara- 18

Kakashi- 35

Jariya- 55

Tsunade- 55 (still using her jutsu)

Shizune- 25

Choji- 17

** Other Character's will be added throughout the story**

**RATED: **M, future yaoi, lemons, and mild lime scenes. Fluff, dirty jokes, Adult Language

**Disclaimer: **I'm gonna say this ONCE, and ONLY ONCE! Naruto is not mine, nor will he ever BE mine. Do you ever see this story ever happening on T.V.? No? Thought so.

**Blah blah blah- Kyuubi Talking, or someone yelling at people**

_**Blah blah blah- Kyuubi Thinking**_

_Blah blah blah- Thinking_

Blah blah blah- Talking

**Prologue: The Beginning of It All**

'_Why do I keep getting the feeling that I'm being watched?' _Naruto mumbled, pausing a bit from his afternoon training to look around. It was midsummer, the perfect weather for training. The sun was high above his head as he wiped some sweat from off of his brow. His usual mane of wild golden hair, was sticking to the tan skin of his face, His shirtless chest heaving in and out, gulping in the needed amount of fresh air. Checking his surroundings once more and finding nothing, he willed his body to relaxed He had been training sense early that morning, wanting to become stronger for when Sasuke came back from his week long ANBU mission. He had asked his rookie teammates to help him with his training, but they too busy waiting for the new ANBU recruit orientation. Meaning, they wanted to watch them fight. Hinata had agreed to be his partner instead of enjoying the orientation, but she waved her off so she could have fun. Naruto sighed, and admired his work. The dummies he had set up had been completely ripped into shreds around the polls, the bulls-eye targets covered in shuriken and kunai of every size, and the three wooden polls he had fought against were missing big chunks of bark, while to holes in its exterior gave it that 'You-just-kicked-my-ass' look.

Walking over to one of the unmarked trees from his training, he plopped down underneath its leaves, willing a gently breeze to come his way and relieve him of the thin layer of sweat coving his body. He closed his eyes for the briefest of moments, letting his thoughts wander. Suddenly, he heard a chuckle coming from behind one of the bushes around the area. Sitting up with vigilance, his pupils narrowed in concentration as he pulled out on of his Kunai, ready to attack. "Whose there?" he called sharply, getting to his feet. One of the bushes behind him began to shake with vigor, its leaves rubbing together making a rustling noise. Naruto gulped as another bush shook, his confidence fading into anxiety. "W-what do you want from me? I'm not afraid to chop off some sex organs here. I'm armed and dangerous." A snicker reached his ears as the rustling grew louder, his eyes widening to the size of saucers.

A pair of pale masculine arms snaked around his waist as he was tackled to the ground. Naruto gave a very 'Manly' scream to his attacker and stabbed the kunai into the mask, which was luckily present at the time. " Dobe... " Sasuke mumble through his cracked ANBU mask, the wolf painted on the mask looking very unhappy at its attacker. Naruto giggled and gave a very provocative smile, his bright azure eyes glowing slightly in the sun as her rubbed the back of his head with his hand, a small blush tingeing his tan cheeks red. "Sorry Sasu-koi, you scared me. If it wasn't you who popped out, you'd probably be holding the place where your dick would've been, because I would've sliced it off and threw it in the bushes over there" He said, pointing behind him. " And you probably wouldn't have been able to move either because you'd be bleeding to death; especially the way you've been acting around me as of late, trying to get rid of 'it' _before _I find out. By the way, do you mind?" Naruto stated plainly when he felt Sasuke's hardness poking him in the ass. Sasuke gulped; sweat dropping as he closed his eyes, shaking his head, smirking. "You've got a sick mind, you know that?"

Sasuke snuggled closer, pressing his face into the back of Naruto's neck as he took in the very arousing position they were in. When he tackled him, he ended up laying on top of Naruto, his chest against Naruto's bare back, his lower half in between Naruto's legs. Sasuke chuckled softly against Naruto's neck, sending a small shiver through the younger boy's spine. Who in the world wouldn't get a hard-on when their boyfriend was half naked and just _asking _to be taken right then?

Naruto's left eye twitched as he pouted and twisted himself away from Sasuke. " SO, When did you get back teme?" Naruto said loudly, ignoring Sasuke's lustful stares. Great, his boyfriend comesback all horny and he had NO other T-shirt to cover up his chest, from those stares...those striping-everything-and-ravishing-you-as-I-molest-your-tight-little-ass seme bastard stares...Ohh, he could already feel his butt throbbing...

" I got back around 2 hours ago. I had to turn in my report to Tsunade-sama, but Shizune told me she was at the ANBU recruit orientation. While I was looking for her, I bumped into Choji, and was wonder where you were and he told me you were training, but he was'nt sure if you were still here or not, so I went looking for you instead." Naruto's sespicous gaze, turned into a smile when Sasuke showed him the written report he had yet to give to Tsunade-baa-baa. Sasuke smiled geinuely, as he took in Naruto's delicious features once again, mentally raping him. 'MMM...those plump cherry lips would feel so good on my--'

**" SASUKE!!"**

Sasuke's attention and rape plan was ruined by Naruto's whiny voice. " What?! Can't you see i'm screwing you in my daydream here?!" Once the words left his lips he felt a shadow from over head. It seems that someone was standing behind him, and he could feel their angry aura, spiking a new high. Naruto's face was locked in pure terror, as the looming figure cracked thier knuckles, as Sasuke gulped, a cold sweatdrop appearred as shivers ran up and down his spine. ' Don't look, don't look, don't look..' He grumpled in his mind hopelessly, slightly turning his head to see who it was. Damnit,..It's Iruka-sensei.

" Uchiha...Sasuke..." The person, now known as Iruka, growled angrily, His face covered in a dark glow, his eyes demon red. Was Iruka-sensei possesed? Sasuke hoped so for his own good. The pit in Sasuke's stomach deepened when Iruka cracked his knuckles once again, causing Sasuke to lean back in fear. "..U-um, Hello I-Iruka sensei? ..D-did I say that out loud?"

An Inhumane screech drowned out the voice of our poor horny Uchiha, Back in the village, the villagers of Konoha turned thier heads in the direction of the forest, fro which the noise came. They mentally shuddered at the poor animal in the forest that had to suffer that untimly demise.

Tsunade muffled a laugh as she faced Naruto and Sasuke. "So, he was mentally 'raping' you as you so kindly put, and Iruka found you two?" Naruto nodded, staring at Sasuke, who was a bloody mess. Apparently, he wasn't the only one hiding behind bushes watching Naruto's firmly built body. Iruka, Kakashi, AND Jariya were there, checking him out. They were all looking for Naruto about 3 hours prior to the return of Sasuke, so they could make him the geunia pig to one of Jariya's new justu. Kakashi was all for it, but Iruka was completly and utterly against it. Iruka started to tell about what happened and how Sasuke was nearly murdered.

**5 HOURS EARLIER**

"Hell no, Kakashi! Jariya, you are NOT going to use whatever perverted jutsu you have on Naruto! Do it to yourself!" Iruka fumed as he followed the two perverts into the forest. Jariya waved his hand in front of his face, ignoring Iruka. " This new jutsu I have, It the best! It'll turn poor little Naruto into one of the baby versions of a wild animal in the forest, most likely a fox kit if you know what I mean, and then I'll be able to take him with me as a pet! All the big breasted women out there LOVE wild animals! I'll be getting head in NO time!" Jariya and Kakashi laughed, unnoticing Iruka's deadly glare at the back of thier heads. How dare they wish to taint Naruto innocence with thier perverted Justu? Just then, an Idea hit him. He was going to find Naruto before they did! "Kakashi..." Iruka whined, pouting as her lured Kakashi into his own demise. " Please don't do this to Naruto-kun. If you do, I won't let you sleep with me for a year!" Kakashi's eyes widen at Iruka's words and he turned around to face him. " Aww, come on dolphin. Let me have my fun! I'm not going to be the one performing the justu, so this'll be all Jariya's fault."

Jariya, stopped by one of the many trees in the forest, a few meters away, glaring in thier distict direction. "Hey!" As Iruka and Kakashi had 'disscusion'.

**Slap.**

**Slap..**

**SLAP...**

**CRUNCH!**

...Make that a 'one' sided dissucion. Iruka stormed away from Kakashi's form that laid crumpled on the ground in a bloody mess, determination dancing in his eyes as he stormed toward Jariya, who 'eeped' like a school girl on crack and bolted down the trail. **"GET BACK HERE!!" **Iruka hollared, chasing after Jariya, a burning trail of fire folling behind him.

Jariya grabbed one of the brances and took of into the trees, Iruka hot on his trail. 'Damnit, I should have never let him in on my plan. Now it's ruined.' He wined as he picked up his speed when Iruka lerched for his throat, narrowly missing by a few centimeters. Suddenly, with Jariya's supersonic hearing, he heard a grunting noise coming from the left side. It sounded like someone training and beating the shit out of trees. 'That's got to be Naruto.' He though as she changed course, Iruka following as well. Jariya hopped into one of the closest to Naruto's backside, and he gawked in awe. " Damn he hot!" He mumbled, getting rammed into by Iruka and falling down to a lower branch.

Naruto tilted his head to the direction of the noise, but shrugged his shoulders when he heard nothing else and continued to beat up the poor trees.

Jariya sported a nose bleed as Iruka sat firmly on his back, glaring into Jariya's face. " Don't you dare harm a hair on Naruto's head, or I will personally MURDER you." Iruka growled, intention set in his eyes. Jariya gulped dryly, nodding his head. He wasn't going to try anything now. Not like that. He'd molest the poor kid first and us him as 'Research' to his new Yaoi Icha Icha Paridise series instead. " Alright, alright already. I won't try anything, just get off." He mumbled, pushing Iruka off of him swiftly, before crawling over the the edge of the three branch they landed on. Jariya snickered lightly, and pulled out a random notepad labled ' Research' in big bold letters and a pair of binoculars from behind him and placing them over his eyes so he could get a good look see.

"Damn that kid, His body puts mine and everyone elses to shame! Too bad he hast that shirt on...if only he would rip it off..." Jariya mumbled under his breath anxiously as he drooled, earning a sepisious glance from Iruka. Naruto, who was still oblivious to anyone watching him, stripped off his shirt, which was dripping in sweat. He tryed to tug it over his head, but the sweat was so stick, it got stuck. " Stupid shirt..." He said, sighing. Naruto griped the edges of his white t-shirt, and with one tug, successfully ripped it off.

Jariya's eyes widened more and, if it was even possible, squirted blood from both his nostrils and skidding backwards about 20 yards. "O-oh my..FUCKING GOD! Kami has placed another SEX GOD down on earth!! And this one's even SEXY'R than the FIRST (refuring to our dear Uchiha friend, Sasuke)!!!" He said in a loud whisper, then gurgled as he drowned in his own nose bleed.

Iruka stared at Jariya's twiching and now dying form (and he didn't have to do a THING) and qurked a brow. He tiptoed over to his body, then poked him with a stick that had a caterpillar on it." What in Kami's name did Jariya see that nearly killed him?" Iruka said, bluntly, unwillingly trying to save Jariya with massive load's of Charmin Toilet paper. He sighed after he gave Jariya soldier pills and a blood pellet to keep him from drying out like an old prune. He pushed Jariya in a sitting position on the branch, and jumped down out of the tree into the exteremly tall bushes that were convenuatly place for cover. He looked around his suroundings and skooted his way through the bushes to the other side, causing the leaves to rustle. He stopped when he heard a familiar voice drifting in his direction.

" Whose there?" Naruto, the person who was attached to the voice, called out sharply. The metallic clinking of Kunai being pulled out of their hiding place, almost gave Iruka a heart attack. Was Naruto really going to throw them in his direction? " W-what do you want from me? I'm not afraid to chop off some sex organs here. I'm armed and dangerous." Iruka sweatdropped, shivering as Naruto's voice moved from confidence to fear. He really WAS going to throw them out at him. Before Iruka had a chance to call out to him, a very high pitched squeek came from the direction of Naruto's voice, and a loud 'thud' was heard. Iruka rushed forward in the bushes and peaked out at Naruto, making sure he was alright. But what he saw would scar him for life.

Naruto and Sasuke...

On the ground..

TOGETHER!!...

...IN THE MOST SEGGESTIVE POSITION ONE COULD EVER THINK OF!!

Sasuke was laying on top of Naruto, INBETWEEN his legs to be exact, with a look of lust and sexual intent for the young inocent boy. A vain popped on Iruka's forehead. How DARE that pervert lay ontop of Naruto like that!! Iruka just had to get over there and pull them away from eachother before some serious damange could occur. He tiptoed closer to Naruto and Sasuke, just within hearing range for the conversation that they were currently holding.

" Sorry Sasu-koi, you scared me. If it wasn't you who popped out, you'd probably be holding the place where your dick would've been, because I would've sliced it off and threw it in the bushes over there" He said, pointing behind him. " And you probably wouldn't have been able to move either because you'd be bleeding to death; especially the way you've been acting around me as of late, trying to get rid of 'it' _before _I find out. By the way, do you mind?" Naruto stated plainly when he felt Sasuke's hardness poking him in the ass. Sasuke gulped, sweatdropping as he closed his eyes, shaking his head, smirking. " You've got a sick mind, you know that?" Iruka glared angrily at the Uchiha, staring at the boy's very, very plain to see crotch, that was very, very, excited.

Sasuke snuggled closer, pressing his face into the back of Naruto's neck as he took in the very arousing position they were in. When he tackled him, he ended up laying ontop of Naruto, his chest against Naruto's bare back, his lower half in between Naruto's legs. Sasuke chuckled softly against Naruto's neck, sending a small shiver through the younger boy's spine. Iruka could practically taste the thoughts from Sasuke's dirty mind. Oh, the ways he could kill that boy right now...

Iruka saw Naruto's lefteye twitched as he pouted and twisted himself away from Sasuke. " SO, When did you get back teme?" Naruto said loudly, ignoring Sasuke's obvious lustful stares.

"I got back around 2 hours ago. I had to turn in my report to Tsunade-sama, but Shizune told me she was at the ANBU recruit orientation. While I was looking for her, I bumped into Choji, and was wonder where you were and he told me you were training, but he was'nt sure if you were still here or not, so I went looking for you instead." Naruto's sespicous gaze, turned into a smile when Sasuke showed him the written report he had yet to give to Tsunade-baa-baa. Sasuke smiled geinuely which in Iruka's eyes that ment RAPIST ALERT!

Iruka growled and stomped over behind the Uchiha, waiting fro him to notice his pissy aura while he went into ' Mother- Hen- protect-your-baby-chick' mode.

Naruto gasped ligthly when he noticed Iruka standing there, and franticly tried to get his boyfirends attention.

" Sasuke.." When Naruto got no response, he sighed mentlly, knowing where his boyfriends thoughs were. He called a little louder, the aura around his sensei, growing darker. " SASUKE.." He yelled.

Nope. Still no response from the Uchiha. ' Oh my god...Sasuke pay attention!! quiet raping me in your dreams and look behind you!' He screamed mentally, as he faced Iruka. " Maa, maa, Iruka-sensei. Um... if you were here a little earlier, you probably saw that whole Sasuke ontop of me thing, ne?" Iruka's aura darkened, his eyes turning a deep, blood thirsty red. Naruto gulped nervously, panicking. " U-um, he was ju-just about to apologize.."

**"SASUKE!" **Naruto shouted loudly into his ear, causing his mind to rip away from the dirty thoughts he was just enjoying. 'Please, _Please,_ don't say anything to provok him more Sasu-koi, Kami please...' Naruto begged in his mind, when Sasuke glared at him, completly unaware of Iruka standing right behing him.

" What?! Can't you see i'm screwing you in my daydream here?!"

Naruto groaned inwardly. Nope, Sasuke's definatly a goner now.

Once the words left Sasuke's lips he felt a shadow from over head. Iruka cracked his knuckles, as Sasuke, being the genius prodgy that he was, figure out the reason behind Naruto terror stricken face. Either there was a giant Tinky Winky Tellitubby behind him, or Naruto's Mother-hen of a teacher, Iruka.

He wisely guessed number two, when he felt the killing intent.

" Uchiha...Sasuke..." Iruka growled angrily, His face covered in a dark glow, his eyes demon red. Was Iruka-sensei possesed? Sasuke hoped so for his own good. The pit in Sasuke's stomach deepened when Iruka cracked his knuckles once again, causing Sasuke to lean back in fear. "..U-um, Hello I-Iruka sensei? ..D-did I say that out loud?"

**BACK IN TSUNADE'S OFFICE **

"..And that's how it happened. " Iruka finished, glaring at Sasuke who could only stare back in humiliation. Tsunade studied the look of each of the faces in the room. Iruka was pissed to no end, He could still go beat about 25 people to a pulp he was so angry. Naruto was still scared shitlessly of his mind, tending to Sasuke's wounds the Iruka's inhumane wrath had made. And well Sasuke...

Tsunade laughed. He wasn't even worth describing. He just looked...like all hell had broken loose, and pulverized his bloody face, not to mention that he probably wouldn't be able to take a piss or screw Naruto anytime soon. She glanced at the X-ray's she had taken of Sasuke's genitals. Wow wee, what a mess. Sasuke glared at the table, hoping that his gaze would be strong enough to burn the picture with his eyes. Then an ant waltzed by with another ant as the did the tengo... Sasuke took a double take. Did that ant have on a Tux?!

" Anyway, Sasuke, I'm going to need you after you recover so spend the night over at Naruto's," Iruka eyes became wild and twisted. " ...For metical perposes only. Naruto, cence your BOYFRIEND here got the worst end of the fight, you need to make sure he has a full and efficent recovery. THAT MEANS NO SEX! Though, it would probably hurt him more than you, I still don't need you two trying anything. You seem capible enough to take care of him." She stated, watching the blush form deeply onto Naruto and Sasuke's cheeks.

"WE HAVEN'T DONE 'IT' YET!" They both screamed at the top of thier lungs, Making the others in the room go temporarly deaf. Tsunade's eye twitched, as she asked questionably "..And how long have you two been together exactly?"

"Shut it, you old hag. Naruto doesn't want to do 'it' yet because he wants to wait until he's of age.. after we get--"

"SASUKE!! Don't say it or Iruka-sensei will--"

"Shut up DOBE! I can do whatever the hell I want!"

"NO, YOU SHUT UP, YOU TEME!"

" You can't tell me what to do Usuratonkachi!!"

"SHUT IT BEFORE I SHOVE THOSE PENCILS UP YOUR ASS, BASTARD!"

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU YELLING, DOBE? SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK BEFORE I SHOVE THAT GLOBE UP _YOUR _ASS!"

Tsunade' eye twitched even more as a vain popped in her head. Why did that have to make so much GODDAMN noise?! Glaring at the two boys as they continued to bicker, her grabbed both of thier necks in a death grasp and held them tightly. " BOTH of you shut the fuck up, before I drag you all the way to the Hokage Mountains, dress you in drag, make you up, tie you to one of the Noses and have you hand there for all to see and admire!!" She stated angrily, causing them to automatically zip, lock and throw away the keys to thier mouths.She loosened her grip on thier necks and pushed them into the two chairs.

"Good. Now, Iruka here will escort you as his punishment, and you must stay within the vicintiy of Naruto's house, at least 50 miles, alright? And yes Sasuke, Naruto lives in a secluded area." Sasuke nodded, putting down his unbroken hand. She gave Iruka a look that said ' Hurt-them-if-they-do-something-stupid, and nodded them off, Iruka in toe behing them. She swiveled around in her chair and cackled evily, a random lightning bolt coming from out of nowhere.

'I wonder what Naruto and Sasuke mean about the whole waiting 'till age thing...does it have something to do with bells?'

**AT NARUTO'S HOUSE 5:36 P.M.**

"Naru-koi, where are you?"

Sasuke sighed, scratching the back of his head for the tenth time. As soon as Iruka had dropped them off, Naruto went into hiding. Sasuke wanted to spend some quality time with his boyfriend, but he has yet to find him. In Naruto's 5 bedroom, 3 bath room house, he could be easy enough to find right? Wrong. For about a Half an hour Sasuke had been searching for our excitable blonde, and Sasuke was starting to get annoyed by the lack of response. Once again Sasuke stepped up the stairs and stared down the hallway. His gaze swept over the the area, and taking note of a closed bedroom door, while the rest we open. 'Hey, that wasn't there before.' He thought as he stealtily stepped through the hallway, approching the door with slyness. He gripped at the door knob and slowly but steadily, cracked it open to peak in.

Naruto was sitting on the floor, covered in what looked like paint, his eyes focusing on the wall he had just finished. It was painted a dark blue and red, the unopen can of white laying sideways on the floor, waiting to be used. Sasuke smiled slightly as he watched Naruto struggle back to his feet, and pick up the randomly thrown paint bruches and rollers of off the floor. " Yeah, Sasuke will love this room when I'm done with it. It'll be a suprise! those Uchia fan logo's will take a while though...Maybe I should start now.." Naruto said thoughfully, taking a clumsy step forward, right into a wet spot of paint on the floor that didn't get covered by newspaper.

Naruto gasped and closed his eyes, ready for the hard empact that he knew was sure to come. He cracked open one of his eyes, the feel of something warm wrapped around him caused his mind to temporarily go blank. Wasn't he supposed to hit the ground? " Naruto, What are you doing?" Sasuke said, staring down into Naruto's blank face with hidden excitement. His Dobe-chan was doing all this for him? Oh, yes, as soon as he was able to, he would take his Dobe regardless of the promise they made. Naruto's mind seemed to register that he was in Sasuke's grasp, and he jumped up and straightened himself up. "Sasuke, you can't be up here. Get out!" He stated hastily, pushing Sasuke out of the room, he's face confused on the outside, but snickering delightfully on the inside. After successfully pushing him out of the room, Naruto him self stepped out, closed the door, and locked it with a key he had in his pocket. Sighing slightly, he turned to face Sasuke, grinnig fro ear to ear.

"Sorry about leaving you downstairs all by yourself. I had to Justu that room so you would'nt be able to find me and ruin it. Do you want to do something?" Naruto asked, watching Sasuke's gaze look him over in uneasyness. Naruto now realized what his boyfriend was looking at. He was in his favorite ramen bowl boxers, and wherear NOTHING else but that. 'Oh kami...' Naruto groaned inwardly, He really should learn to keep his clothes on while he worked. But it got SOO hot in there, he just HAD to take off his shorts. "Eh, Sasu-koi, will you stop molesting me in your daydream AGAIN?" Naruto pouted, walking down two doors and going into his room. Sasuke blushed a little, mumbling loud enough for Naruto to hear as he strolled in the direction he'd just gone. He leaned against the door frame of Naruto's room door. " How could you tell? You always seem to know. Tell me you're secret." "Well, It's a little obvious.." Naruto said pointing to Sasuke's obvious erection.

Sasuke pouted, and covered him self 'down south' as he watched Naruto grab a towel and head toward the shower, after stripping off his boxers of course, just to taunt Sasuke more. He tilted his head back, just to see Sasuke's face. Did it work? Naruto heard a thud and turned around completely, as Sasuke fell in a backwards in a faint, his thoughts causing the unconsious Uchiha to have a major nosebleed. Naruto skipped over to the body on the floor, not worried by his nakedness. He poked Sasuke's forehead, which caused the Uchiha to have another massive nosebleed- attack. Naruto laughed and pulled out two random markers, black and orange, and started to doodle on Sasuke's face. A few seconds later, Naruto sat back and admiring his work, he pulled out some kleenex and gently stuffed it up Sasuke's nostrils.

Walking over to the bathroom door, whitch was conveintiantly place in his room, he picked up his towel he had thrown over a dresser and closed the door, smiling. 'Now for some Peace and Quiet, and no horny Uchiha's bardging in and trying to...' Naruto mentally shivered. ' ..Screw me..' Naruto pushed the thought out of his head, and turned on the shower, the steam automatically calming his nerves.

**DOWNSTAIRS 9:30 P.M.**

Naruto yawned sleepily, as he washed the last of the dishes from thier dinner. He smiled giddily at himself whe he looked out toward the dark living room Sasuke was currently invading, his low snores breaking through the quiet mumble Television, as he sleep on the couch. Some stupid rereun of Mad TV was on. Naruto's thoughs drifted to the contest he and Sasuke just had over dinner. And, it wasn't a suprise that Naruto won:Twenty-two and a half bowls of Instant Ramen to Sasuke' measly four. " Aww, he looks so cute when he not trying to fuck me.." Naruto stated as he placed the last of the dishes away inside the cabinet. He grabbed the dish towel and whipped his hands clean of any soap bubbles that happened to stay, and headed to the living room, turning off the TV. Sasuke mumble something incohernt and rolled over on the couch, his back now turned toward Naruto. "Sasu-koi, come on. Get up and lets go to bed." He said, shaking Sasuke gently, awaking him. Naruto took hold of Sasuke's arm, who was still too far gone to do anything but follow Naruto up the stairs into Naruto's own bedroom (sence his isn't done yet).

As soon as Sasuke's head hit the pillow, he rolled over and went right back to sleep. Naruto sighed, and stripped of all his clothing (he loves to sleep 'in the nude') and crawled into the large king size bed, and cuddle up in the blankets, his eyes slowly closing as her drifted off to sleep as well.

**KYUUBI 10:30 P.M.**

Kyuubi was franticly shaking at the bars of her cell. She hadn't had a chance to form a connetion with Naruto over the pass few days, due to the 'heat' she was in now. Unfourunatly, that ment all of her self control was literally out of the window. **" Gaki..! Kit..! WAKE UP!! I have to tell you something inportant!" **She wailed hysterically, not recieving a response from the sleeping blonde. Kyuubi squirmed, the heat in her body rising more, as she groaned in pleasure. **"Damnit! This can't wait, I gotta do something NOW!!" ** Originally, her plan was to ask Naruto if she could take over for a while to fulfill her 'needs', And right at the moment, she doubted an earthquake could wake this kid up. Boy, was he a heavy sleeper. Suddenly at that thought, she got an idea wild enough to compete with Wild E. Cayote. She would take over as soon as Naruto fell asleep, only this once though, and find a mate to help her, er...his as in Naruto's, needs.

**" This better work. That Kit did promise me some free time for saving his ass all those years...Time to tally up and head out!" **She ranted, focusing her chakra to overtake Naruto's body system and block him to the back of her mind, making sure he was still sleeping soundly. She opened the eyes to Naruto's body, and smirked evily to the successful take over she had done. **" This is only until I can find a good mate...Hmmm, at the rate that this body recovers and sleep time, I should come back here at about...7:30. He doesn't wake up regularly until 9:00 but after i'm done, this body will need a GOOD shower. " **Possesed Naruto stated quietly, sliding out of the futon and staring at his body in the mirror. Naruto's features had changed drastically. His eyes were a pinkish color, a gift from Kyuubi and his chakra networks merging together over the years, Two very foxy ears sticking out ontop of his golden crown of hair, one that had a peircing with an earring. The whisker marks on either side of his cheeks thinned out and darkened, giving him a Kitsune look. **" Good, good. It' looks like all my features carried through."** Naruto said, checking himself out in the mirror, posing. He patted himself on the butt, an angry buldge waiting to rip the fabric of the boxers. He cringed at the touch, whimpering a little as his ears flattened out against his skull. **" Oww, my poor tail..." **He whined, walking over to the closet to pull out some clothes.

_**' Nope. Nope, hmm...thats a maybe. DEFINANTLY NOT' **_He stated, rummaging through the clothes on the hangers, throwing the clothes he didn't like to the floor. His eyes skimmed across the partualy empty closet, dissapointed. Did this kid wear anything but orange? 'He' took back his words and gasped at the set of clothes sitting in the way back of the closet. It would be simple enough, A black tank top that would cling to every dip and curve of his frame, the fishnet top that would go underneath, and the pale white cargo pants that hung loosely against his hips. He smirked at the outfit and hastily pulled on the clothing, after cutting out a small hole for his tail in the boxers and cargo pants. Once again admiring himself in the mirror, He made a grab for the white and black bandana on the dresser, and strolled over to the window sill.

_**' With any luck, both Sasuke and Naruto will stay asleep. But just in case..' **_ Kyuubi used Naruto's body to put a justu over the both of them, causing them to fall into a deeper slumber that would last the rest of the night. Naruto swung a leg over the window sill and placed it gently on to the the side roofing. Taking one last look at his surrounding, and a burst of heat racking through his body, he took off into the night, with one person in mind to kick things off on his 'sex spree'.

...Hyuuga Hinata.

**A/N:** So, yeah. Leave a suggestion when you review, pairings, plots, interesting gags and dirty jokes, I take them all. Just don't OFFEND me or the way I write. AND NO FLAMES! 

..give me good critism, other wise, I'll track you down and burn you! And believe me, I've done it before.

people who offeneded me in the past, whimper as they try to break free from the metal chains I've wrapped around them, lighting a couple of matches at i get ready to send them in to space 

OH, and don't go around saying i'm making threats.. THOSE ARE PROMISES! And I ALWAYS keep my promises. 'K now, stop reading, start reviewing and leave... you're taking up too much of my space. glares and points to the REVIEW button 

**GET TO IT!?!**


	2. What the Hell do YOU want? Part 1

**Dear yaoi-lovers and seemingly interested people:** Yosh! 2nd chappie! for once im acually GLAD to see you, but note, this is a rare occasion. **VERY** RARE INDEED. enjoy it while it lasts. I acually got some reviews! Not bad if i do say so myself, which I do. Anyway, this chapter has been bugging me out of my mind! But everytime i'd sit down to write it, something would interupt. Don't worry, i took care of the distractions!! ( Points to the closet behind her, which is unusually full and making noises.) Now, down to business.** I WILL NOT UPDATE IF I DON'T GET REVIEWS! **I'm serious folks. I have better things to do other than write Yaoi fanfiction. I could be playing around with my 'slaves', who on their part, acually agreed to be one. So review and give me iput. just as long as its NOT a flame, i will accept anything. YOU NAME IT, I'LL SEE ABOUT PUTTING IT IN THIS FIC! 'K now that my annoucments are over for now, ...**READ!**

**SUMMARY: **Unfortunatly for Naruto, Kyuubi's untimely sex-drive has gone OVERBOARD, and Kyuubi refuses to contain herself. So at night, she takes over in secret to 'assult' her next victim. Nearly everyone in the village of Konoha has either fallin' for Naruto's crotch or painstakenly stalked him for the juciest of Blackmail, and Naruto has no idea what's gotten into these people! Kyuubi has her eyes set on a certian Uchiha and Naruto is just starting to pull the pieces together. Will Naruto be able to keep Kyuubi in check, before she screws the love of his life?

**AGES: **Naruto- 17

Sakura- 17

Sasuke- 18

Lee- 18

Gaara- 18

Kakashi- 35

Jariya- 55

Tsunade- 55 (still using her jutsu)

Shizune- 25

Choji- 17

_Hinata-16_

_Neji-18_

_Hanabi-14 1/2_

** Other Character's will be added throughout the story, New characters in **_**ITALICS**_

**RATED: **M, future yaoi, lemons, and mild lime scenes. Fluff, dirty jokes, Adult Language

**Disclaimer: **I'm gonna say this ONCE, and ONLY ONCE! Naruto is not mine, nor will he ever BE mine. Do you ever see this story ever happening on T.V.? No? Thought so.

**Blah blah blah- Kyuubi Talking, or someone yelling at people**

_**Blah blah blah- Kyuubi Thinking**_

_Blah blah blah- Thinking_

Blah blah blah- Talking

**Chapter 1: What the Hell do YOU Want? Part 1**

**NARUTO'S PLACE, 10:53 A.M.**

"nmmhhmmnnm..." A voice echoed throughout the house, making said person attached to the voice roll off the couch and hit the floor with a loud 'thud'. "OW, WHAT THE HELL?" Naruto screamed, rubbing his sore forehead that that hit the ground before the rest of his body. Naruto opened his eyes sharply and narrowed his pupils, looking around him wildly. _'Ok, ok..why the FUCKING HELL am I not in __**My**__ bed in __**My**__ room?!' _He screamed loudlying in his head, giving himself a headache and losing some precious brain cells. He took a deep, calming breath and sat up holding his head, eyes closed. He let his thoughts travel to last night after his meal, snickering slightly as her remembered minor details. "Yosh. I rembered shaking Sasuke half awake and leading him up to my bedroom so he can sleep with me..." Naruto blushed a little, relization knocking on his noggin at his words. Shaking his head in embarassement, he pulled himself off of the floor, and plopped down on the couch, slouching a little, still in thought. "..I also remember getting in the bed with him, after taking off my clothes of course, and laying down next to him..." His confusion deepened even more, the pieces of this mystery not fitting together so smoothly. How _did _he end up down here? With Naruto's brain working to the max, it took him a few minutes to come up with a conclusion.

He was abducted by horny, green aliens, dressed in mini skirts and sports bras. Naruto shivered, his underused brain throbbing a little. Thus, making our little 'genius' to come up with another theory. The horny aleins had probed his brain for government information, stole his memory, and sent him back down to sleep sloppily on the couch. _'At least i'm __**IN **__my house'_ He said thoughtfully, yawning quietly. After Naruto's little moment of smartness, he stood to his feet and headed into the kitchen, making a move to scratch his clothed stomach.

Naruto froze, mid-scratch as his eyes widened.

Wasn't he naked when he crawled into bed with the Uchiha?

Naruto glanced himself over, finally taking in his dishevaled apperance. He had a black tanktop that had rips and tears in the fabric, and a few unwelcome claw marks that had reached his skin, turning the marks a slight pinkish colour. What apparently was supposed to be a fishnet undershirt hung in shreads on his body, barely hanging on by a thread. And lastly he eyed the cargo pants that hung rather loosely off his body, holes and rips covered the fabric as well, but it seemed that the pants had had the full wrath of whatever attacked him. Only one pants leg was still attached, the other missing, showing an eye full of his upper thigh. He felt unconfortably sticky in the clothing, strange globs of whiteness littering his body. Naruto sighed warily, and went to the refridguator to cheek out his face in its glossy surface.

What he saw would shock him for life.

The sticky white subtance was all over his face, some of it drying in his hair and on various places on his cheeks. His expression was indeed full of surpirse, not knowing what the heck was going on. His preivous theories were steadily becoming convencing every second.

..He got his brain _AND _his ass fucked with.

Naruto glared at the ceiling, hoping his 'deadly gaze' would reach the unsuspecting aliens in outerspace and destroy them, along with their hornynessness. _**'Gaki..' **_

Naruto glanced around, the voice drawing his attention away from his 'glaring'. He focused his thoughts on the voice, staring out in front of himself as he stopped in front of the counter. _'Hey Kyuu!? What's up? I haven'nt heard from you in quite a while, is something the matter?'_ Kyuubi, mumbled a little about 'stupid blondes' and 'heat sprees'. Naruto tilted his head to his right side, scruffling back over to the refridgrator and opening it in search of some milk. Naruto cauciously sniffed the carton, scrunching up his nose cutely before heading toward the sink to pour out its contents. _'Kyuubi. Why aren't you answering me?' _ He thought inpaicently, earning himself a stern growl from Kyuubi. _**'Well for your information gaki, I was trying to put my thoughts into a logical, one-side explanation for the unexpected appearance.' **_Kyuubi sighed at Naruto's hopelessly clueless expression._' Can you put that in Laymann's terms, please? you lost me at 'information..'' _ Kyuubi ignored Narutos' simple-mindedness and took a deep breath. _**"NarutoIwastryingtospeaktoyouearlieraboutthisheatthingIgothroughever16yearsandIdidn'thaveanywayofcommunicatingwithyouaboutitsoItookoveryourbodylastnighttohavesomefunandimstillnotsatisfiedsoimgoingtohavetouseyourbodyuntilIam"**_(1) Kyuubi blurted out in one hell of a breath. Naruto just stared at the counter in confusion, his mind working hard to decifer the words Kyuubi had practically run together. Kyuubi panted a little in the back of Naruto's mind,waiting ever so paciently for his response. What was he going to say? Kyuubi was glad she didn't mention the three people she had randomly chosen to fuck last night, but maybe, It was fate she chose them. They all seemed to have liked it, especially the white-eyed one. He **especially **like 'Naruto' being the uke. Maybe a little to much.

"...uhhh..." Naruto mumbled, his gaze shifting a little "..Kyuubi.."

Kyuubi snapped out of her own thoughts and focused her attention on Naruto. Maybe he'll let her use his body to her will; Not like he had much of a choice anyway. He owed her WAY too much to start throwing out ' pay-your-rent-or-else' just to get some power or something. _**"What.."**_

Naruto scratched his head and gave Kyuubi a crooked grin. " I didn't understand a single word you said..though I think I heard my name in there somewhere...hmmm...let me think(3).." Kyuubi groaned in dispair, covering her face with her many tails, ashamed. How the hell did she get stuck with such a stupid kid in the first place?! He's frikin' HOPELESS!

"WELL maybe...if you slow it down a little bit, MAYBE, a _jinchuuriki _like myself could understand a demon fox like you." Naruto stated impaciently, making his way back to the living room, giving up on trying to find somthing to eat for breakfest..eh, brunch. _**" Well, sooooorrrrrryyyy! I was only trying to clear things up with you and kick that rediculous alien abduction crackbaby out of your slow ass head?!" **_She growled back in sexual frustration. Damn, It was catching up to her fast. _**' Im gonna need a good dry hump post in a couple of hours... depending on how long I can keep this heat pent up' **_She thought worriedly, moving around her cage as she ignored Narutos' rant of a comeback to her previous statement. _**'Maybe I could sleep it off...'**_

"Oi! Kyuu-_chan_! You better be listening to me you dumbass! It's all your fault for talking so damn fast in the first place--"

Kyuubis' ears twitched in annoyance at Naruto's extremly whiny voice. It was like listening to someone scrape chalk on the blackboard of her eadrum. She would kill that kid here and now if he didn't have domonice over this body that they shared, plus the consequence of them _both _dying as a result would not be a good thing. On top of that, oh, she could already feel a migrain coming in strong right at the back of her eyes. Her lips curled over her teeth in a snarl as Naruto's voice went two octaves higher than his original whinyness.

"-- And another thing, You could have at least given me some confort while I was up in outerspace getting my brain sucked out through a straw by the aliens--"

Kyuubi's migrain worsened with each of Naruto's words, as well as her craving for birthday suits and orgies..._**'Damn it Naruto..Shut Up..' **_She thought despreately, her migrain spreading to her temples as he continued to babble about his theories. _**'I'm so close to telling him about last night, but if I do will it shut him up?..hee.. probably. He wouldn't want to step out side of this house for a while..not with the three people I just did last night looking for more...'**_

"-- Lastly, how could I even do that with Sasuke? I'd probably end up being uke anyway, that possesive, domonite bastard..." Naruto stated, his mind finally drifting away from the converation he held with Kyuubi moments ago. Naruto shrugged as he came to a conclusion with another one of his 'theories'.

Sasuke will be the Seme because he likes to be a bossy bastard who tells everyone what to do , while Naruto will be the Uke because he's a pushover and has a loud mouth and Sasuke will make him one anyway... no matter how nmuch he begged for the Seme positon. Kyuubi sighed and chuckled lightly, her eyes still closed as she tried to drift off . _**'Well, at least this one made sense...'**_

Naruto glaced at his clock on the wall by the kitchen door. 11:22 AM. "Wow it's gotten late. It's all your fault Kyuubi, for having me talk to you about my theories and then you trying to explain something that I didn't quite catch because you were talking so damn fast, and now I want to konw what you said, but you won't tell me you stupid, god-forsaken--"

"Naruto..?" A tired voice rang down the stairs as Sasuke stood on the top step, looking over the railing. Naruto's gaze traveled upward in Sauke's direction, and traveling across his partner's half naked form. Sasuke was wearing a pair of black silk boxers, his pale skin contrasting to the dark material perfectly. His bare chest carved out and defined every hard earned muscle that he had gained form over years of training, while his posture still held that just awake to him as he rubbed the sleep in from out of eyes, his hair out of his usual duck-butt style to reveal the true Uchiha hairstlye: Bedhead. Naruto chuckled lightly as he watched Sasuke stumble down a couple stairs only to regain his stance once more as he reached the last step.

" Looks like you're getting better Sasu-koi." Naruto stated, the dark marks that once littered his skin from Iruka's wrath had dulled to a redish-pink mark on his skin... kinda looking like a hicky. Sasuke growled a 'shut up' in Naruto's direction and sat on the couch, staring up at his boyfriend with a glint of frustration and glee in his eyes. " Whats' wrong Sasuke?" Naruto asked, forgetting about his own apperence as he rocked back and forth on his heels; taking in as much of Sasuke as he could (**A/N:** stop thinking dirty you perverts,your lemons are cumming soon enough). "..Why weren't you upstairs with me when I woke up? And why in Heaven's name are you dressed like that?!" Sasuke stated standing to his feet and approching Naruto who in turn, stepped back away from him. Naruto sweatdropped when Sasuke stared taking in Naruto's appenernce, noting the white stickyness on his face. "What is all this, Naruto?" Sasuke said worriedly as Naruto sweatdrop became heavier and slide down his face. Sasuke attempted to reach his hand out and grab Naruto to make his spill, but Naruto's hands shot up in defense, as waved them frantically in front of him. " Maa, It's nothing to worry about." Sasuke raised an eyebrow as he stepped forward, making Naruto step back against the Kitchen door.

"Oh really.." Naruto shivered, as Sasuke leaned over into his ear, his smirk could be practically heard in his voice. "..If its really nothing to worry about..why are you trying to get away from me, hm?" Naruto gulped noisly, his hands flat against the cool wooden surface of the kitchen door. Sasuke chuckled lightly when he licked Naruto's earlobe, the younger boys' breath hitched in the back of his throat. Naruto flushedlightly and pushed open the Kitche door, stumbling in side and closing it behind him. Sasuke pushed against the door but Naruto sat on his butt and pushed against it from the floor.

"Naruto, let me in there and talk to me!!" Sasuke spoke through the door, agitated.

"NO!" Naruto's muffled voice said trough the door, making Sasuke's temper rise.

" NARUTO, OPEN THIS DOOR!

"HELL TO THE NO, SASUKE! I AM NOT LETTING YOUR HORNY ASS IN HERE WITH ME!"

"I AM **NOT **HORNY, YOU CHICKEN SHIT! I'M JUST WORRIED!'

"YEAH RIGHT?! KEEP THE SYMPATHY TO YOURSELF, TEME."

Sauske's eye twitched when he could practically _feel _Naruto's tougue from where he stood(**A/N: **Same goes for here you guys; Don't worry 'bout the lemon. I promise it's cumming...). Ramming into the door with his shoulder a few more times, Sasuke's temper reached its peak. His eyes narrowed as they turned cold, his eyebrows furrowing down to the bridge of his nose as his fist clenched and unclenched repeatedly.

"_Naruto.._" His voice was laced with a barely contained anger, like the calm before the storm. " You open this goddamn door, before I **Burn **it down." Naruto cringed at the sound of Sasuke's voice and crawled toward the back door of the kitchen, which lead to the other side of the of the livingroom. Naruto snicked as he cracked open the door, peaking around the corner to see Sasuke fuming at the door, still waiting for Naruto's answer. He looked around his livingroom, the couch a few meters away from the door Naruto was at. He'd be home free and could hop into the shower to rid of any evidance of what ever happened the night before. Naruto slipped his head back inside the kitchen and placed his hand over his mouth when Sasuke growled out his order once again, still banging on the door with his fist. "_**NARUTO!!**_"

"NO! GO AWAY YOU STUCK UP PRICK FOR A BASTARD!" Naruto screeched from the other side, cupping his mouth so he could throw his voice in the direction of Sasuke's door. "Thats _it _Naruto. I'm burning this door down!!" Sasuke growled angrily, making hand signs for his katton no justu. " IF YOU BURN DOWN THIS DOOR, YOU GOTTA BUY ME A NEW ONE!" Naruto screeched just as Sasuke let his fire justu out of his mouth. The door, who was the victim in this whole mess, lay in a pile of ash and metal in the middle of the doorway. Sasuke took a step forward into the kitchen, which gave Naruto the signal he needed to high tail it out of there.

Sasuke gripped the frame of the wall, his grip causing the wooden frame to crack under the pressure. Sasuke dug his heel into the kitchen, the marble of the floor also cracking with the force of his anger. Naruto gulped as he felt waves of fury radiant off of his boyfriend. How was he going to get out of this one?

_**A/N: **_ Ok, then. This Chapter was kinda short, in your opinion, but long enough in mine. It was like, 5 sheets on notebook paper, i swear! (..not counting the many mistakes, corrections, add-ones, ect,...-;;) 

(1) this whole sentence is wacky..i just wrote what came to mind and wanted to see if you guys could break it down -

Anyway, I know you people are waiting for my OH-SO-GRAPIC yaoi lemon, AND it starts in the next chapter with a flashback of the 'fun' night Kyuubi had with the 'three play toys'. Also, you guys maybe questioning my writing and i will be glad to answer any pinging questions that you may have; Just don't ask when i'm gonna add more yaoi, or I will MOVE IT FARTER DOWN THE STORY! ------ that there is your warning. Heade it, Live it, Die for it.

Next chapter will be part two, and will be up in a day or 4...lol, just kidding. No I'm serious. Maybe I'll update early, Depends on the reviews. (Shrugs) Ah, well. Get your friends to read this story, and review. I so happy about the hits i'm getting, but not so proud about the revies i have recieved. No reviews, no continuation. Simple as that. 

Another thing, if you can guess the three people Kyuubi screwed the night before, I'll give you a prize!! Hint: they are related, key words are in the story, but not obvious to the human eye without some type of ability.

Read, Review and Move on...


	3. What the Hell do YOU want? Part 2

**Dear You Crazy People:** Ello, everyone! My notes and comments wil be on the end of this chapter, READ REVIEW, AND MOVE ON! (R,R&Mo)

**SUMMARY: **Unfortunatly for Naruto, Kyuubi's untimely sex-drive has gone OVERBOARD, and Kyuubi refuses to contain herself. So at night, she takes over in secret to 'assult' her next victim. Nearly everyone in the village of Konoha has either fallin' for Naruto's crotch or painstakenly stalked him for the juciest of Blackmail, and Naruto has no idea what's gotten into these people! Kyuubi has her eyes set on a certian Uchiha and Naruto is just starting to pull the pieces together. Will Naruto be able to keep Kyuubi in check, before she screws the love of his life?

**AGES: **Naruto- 17

Sakura- 17

Sasuke- 18

Lee- 18

Gaara- 18

Kakashi- 35

Jariya- 55

Tsunade- 55 (still using her jutsu)

Shizune- 25

Choji- 17

_Hinata-16_

_Neji-18_

_Hanabi-14 1/2_

** Other Character's will be added throughout the story, New characters in **_**ITALICS**_

**RATED: **M, future yaoi, lemons, and mild lime scenes. Fluff, dirty jokes, Adult Language

**Disclaimer: **I'm gonna say this ONCE, and ONLY ONCE! Naruto is not mine, nor will he ever BE mine. Do you ever see this story ever happening on T.V.? No? Thought so.

**Blah blah blah- Kyuubi Talking, or someone yelling at people**

_**Blah blah blah- Kyuubi Thinking**_

_Blah blah blah- Thinking_

Blah blah blah- Talking

**What the Hell do YOU want? Part 2**

_'God fuckin' damnit...teme ruining my kictchen just for some god-forsaken information that i had concluded real in my head; i don't even know what the hell is going on...' _ Naruto thought angrily as he crawled out of the kitchen into the livingroom at the exact moment Sauske entered the kitchen. Naruto scrambled behind the couch as Sasuke rummaged through the pots and pans and other cookware in his kicthen.

He glanced around his suroundings gathering as much incite that he could and taking into account some issues he may or may not have with his plan. For instance, the fact that the staircase was on the otherside of the room and inorder for him to make it there safely, he had to go back past the kitchen.

Not a good sign.

Naruto's mind was trying its best to work out an alternative for his situation, but with Sasuke gaining perimeter, he had no choice but to take a chance. He sighed heavily under his breath and mauvered his posture so he was in his crouching position. '_Here goes nothing." _ He thought, just as Sasuke's rampage carried him to the door Naruto had just resently made his escape. Sasuke's fuming figure loomed over Naruto gradually as he slammed over the door, causing the wall to crack.

Naruto turned a frightened gaze in the Uchiha's direction and, in a moment of unwanted pervasion, though about being handcuffed to the bed and doing naughty thing with his boyfriend. Naruto cringed back a little when Sasuke made a grab for his already ruined shirt and scooted back, trapped between Sasuke and the back of the couch.

" I finally have you now, Naruto..." Sasuke stated in a sickly sweet voice that had a hint of almost unditectable malice hidden beneath. Sasuke had both his hand raised as he stalked closer to the younger boy. His aura was dark and mysterious, and his expression could put any holloween horror to shame.

"maa...S-sasuke..No need to be h-hasty..." Naruto squeaked out as he scooted back closer to the couch and inched ever so slightly toward the edge. Sasuke snorted uncharacteristly and grabbed the edge of the couch, reaching for something on the otherside. Naruto's eyes widen as he watched Sasuke dig for whatever it was he wanted. Then Naruto came up with an Idead that could possibly get him killed later one but was just fine at the moment. The little voice inside his head was chanting something he could not resist to think.

**Sasuke's**. _crotch_. was. **in**. _his_. face.

Sasuke's crotch was In his face.

Sasuke's _crotch._

_**Face.**_

_**Right There.**_

And at that moment, he groped Sauke's crotch, which caused the Uchiha to freeze in his place for a brief moment and look down at Naruto. "What the--Naruto, why'd you do that? Don't you tempt me..." He said, growling a little still staring at the boy who was still holding his dick. Naruto looked up at Naruto with peircing eyes as he ran his fingers to the bottom of the shaft and rest then on his balls. Sasuke's breath hitched slightly, as his heart raced. Whats' gotten into Naruto? Was Naruto going to do what he thought he was going to do? Sasuke didn't know what was happening but he was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

Naruto, who was still thinking of was to escape had another push in the right direction with the weird voice in his head.

**Kick . **_him ._ in . **the .** _crotch ._ and . **run.**

Kick him, now.

In the _Crotch._

**Now!**

_Kick and Run..._

_**Kick and Run!!**_

And Naruto proceeded to do so. While Sasuke was destracted by his hands, Naruto layed back slightly with both his feet in the air. Sasuke watched him with glazed eyes as the feet hovered back some and came full force in his direction. _At his crotch._

An adible crunch was heard as Sasuke yelled out like a madman and fell over, cringing in the unforgivable pain while holding his crotch. Naruto stared at the writhering figure in front of him, and crawled toward the staircase. But before he could get far enough, Sasuke had grabbed hold of his ankles and stared to pull him back in his direction. Naruto's fear piked a new level as he struggled against Sasuke, but due to his strength deminishing, he had no chance. He stared back at Sasuke who's eyes were sharingan red as he barke out strange words to Naruto's ears.

"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT YOU GOD DAMN SHIT ASS FUCK ASS BASTARD DICKHEAD, NARUTO! WHAT THE FUCKING GOD DAMN HELL OF SHIT POSSESED YOU TO FUCKING KICK ME IN THE GOD DAMN NUTS?! YOU GOD FUCKING, COCK SUCKING, FAG ASS DICK SLUT! "

Sasuke continued to rant on, pulling Naruto ever closer to him.

"GOD DAMN IT, NARUTO! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SEE HOW IT FEELS TO GET YOUR DICK SQUISHED BY A BIG ASS MOTHERFUCKIN' FOOT LIKE YOURS!!"

Naruot, in a state of panic, took his free leg and kicked it against Sasuke's cheek, earning himself a grunt and his freedom.Sasuke rolled over on his side, his back to Naruto as he struggled to figure out what hurt more; His dick, his cheek, or his pride. Sasuke growled deeply, a dark aura surrounding him just like it had for Iruka, and he whispered out.

"Naruto...YOU ASS!! WHEN I FUCK YOU, YOU'RE GONNA PAY, DEARLY! I WILL TORCHURE YOU 'TIL YOU BEG ME TO STOP, AND THEN I WILL CONTINUE TO SCREW YOU UNTIL YOUR EYES POP OUT OF YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU'RE FILLED UP WITH SO MUCH OF MY CUM!!!" Naruto eyes widened at those words and scampered up the stairs, leaving the handicapped Uchiha on the living room floor screaming profantities to the heavens.

**AFTER THE SHOWER**

Naruto peaked over the railing slyly looking for Sasuke who was still laying on the floor. Naruto had finally gotten into the shower and threw out his damaged clothing. While the hot water ran over his body, it had him thinking. What was that voice in the back of his mind? Why did it sound like someone he had known from the past?

Naruto crept down the stairs after checking to see if the Uchiha had calmed down considerably enough. "Sasuke..?" Naruto said going over to the couch and leaning over, watching Sasuke twitch at the sound of his voice. Naruto hesisitantly reached over and shook his shoulders twice before pulling his hand back as if he had touched fire, expecting to be attacked or something.

"Sasuke?"

Once again his body twitched and Naruto sighed. _'I didn't kick you that hard you jerk...' _Naruto thought before sitting beside Sasuke, who looked up at Naruto with angry eyes. "What do you want?" He growled, his voice harsh and raspy from yelling too much. Naruto sighed and stroked Sasuke's dark blue locks with his fingers. "I'm sorry...Did I hurt you?" Sasuke glared coldly as Naruto sweatdropped. "What do you think Naruto?! You got me in the same spot Iruka had, yesterday! And on top of that, you made my injuries worse!!"

"..Oh...Sorry.." Naruto grinned sheepishly and twirled a strand of hair around his finger. Sasuke 'hn'ed lightly, and looked up at Naruto, his head on Naruto's lap confortably. He noticed Naruto had changed out of the ragged clothes and into something more...covering. A white tee-shirt with the Kohonha Leaf Symbol on it and some khaki shorts that hide Kunai and Shuriken.

"Well...It doesn't hurt as much now..." Sasuke said aloud, more to himself than Naruto. Naruto's ears perked up at Sasuke's voice, and he stroked the cheek he had kicked a little early. "Well that's good, then. You can help clean up the kitchen!!" Naruto said wisly, knowing that Sasuke had reeked havoc in his kitchen area. Sasuke griminced and shook his head. "No, I don't think I will clean the kitchen."

"WHAT? Sasuke, you just can't come here and mess up my house--"

"..Naruto.."

"What will Iruka-sensei think if he come's over, what--"

"Naruto."

"OH MY GOD! WHAT AM I GONNA EAT NOW? By the time I'm done cleaning, It'll be lunch time--"

"DAMNIT NARUTO, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" Sasuke said annoyedly. Naruto immediatly shut his mouth and waited for Sasuke say what he wished. "Good. Now that I have your undivided attention, I was willing to take you out to eat, at a resturant or something--"

"Really? OH WOW! You hardly _EVER _take me out!"

"Shut up and let me finish." He grumbled again, kissing Naruto on the wrist. _' Now I see why I never take him anywhere...He's a loud mouth. Though that'd be really good in bed; Once I finally bed him' _ " Hm, as I was saying, I was willing to take you out to eat or something like that, and then spend the whole day with you, you know, around the village or here." Naruto nodded and stroked Sasuke's hair once again, distracted by the fact that he was about to get free food to worry about his disaster of a kitchen.

Naruto and Sasuke sat comfortably for a few moments behind the couch until Naruto desided it was time to go get free food. "Come on, Sasuke! Let's go now!" He said loudly, grabbing Sasuke's are to help him up. Sasuke shook his head and limped over to the stairs. "Where are you going now, Sasuke?" Naruto asked following Sasuke to the stairs. Sasuke stared at his own clothes; His blue and red boxer shorts and his gray tee shirt that he had slept in the night before. Taking some steps up the stair case, he felt Naruto's gaze on him, watching him intently. "Where are you going?" Naruto asked again, his hand resting on his hip in a feminine way.

Sasuke chuckled lightly and continued up the stairs calling back dowN his answer.

"I'm going to get into some fresh clothes; There is no way in hell I'm going to embarrass myself out there in my boxers.'

**A/N:** Ah, don't mind the grammer mistakes, I wanted to update ASAP.

R,R & Mo!!


	4. What the Hell do YOU want? Part 3

**Dear You Crazy People:** Ello, everyone! My notes and comments will be on the end of this chapter, READ REVIEW, AND MOVE ON! (R,R&Mo)

**SUMMARY:**Unfortunatly for Naruto, Kyuubi's untimely sex-drive has gone OVERBOARD, and Kyuubi refuses to contain herself. So at night, she takes over in secret to 'assult' her next victim. Nearly everyone in the village of Konoha has either fallin' for Naruto's crotch or painstakenly stalked him for the juciest of Blackmail, and Naruto has no idea what's gotten into these people! Kyuubi has her eyes set on a certian Uchiha and Naruto is just starting to pull the pieces together. Will Naruto be able to keep Kyuubi in check, before she screws the love of his life?

**AGES:**Naruto- 17

Sakura- 17

Sasuke- 18

Lee- 18

Gaara- 18

Kakashi- 35

Jariya- 55

Tsunade- 55 (still using her jutsu)

Shizune- 25

Choji- 17

_Hinata-16_

_Neji-18_

_Hanabi-14 1/2_

** Other Character's will be added throughout the story, New characters in **_**ITALICS**_

**RATED:**M, future yaoi, lemons, and mild lime scenes. Fluff, dirty jokes, Adult Language

**Disclaimer:**I'm gonna say this ONCE, and ONLY ONCE! Naruto is not mine, nor will he ever BE mine. Do you ever see this story ever happening on T.V.? No? Thought so.

**Blah blah blah- Kyuubi Talking, or someone yelling at people**

_**Blah blah blah- Kyuubi Thinking**_

_Blah blah blah- Thinking _

Blah blah blah- Talking

**What the Hell do YOU want?Part 3**

With Sasuke finnally dressed in proper clothing for going out, Naruto took hold of Sasuke's hand and pulled him towards the door. " Let's go, Sasuke! I can't wait!" Sasuke smirked at Naruto's childish antic and slowed his pace slightly, pulling back on Naruto's hand. Naruto glanced back toward Sasuke, his eyes glemming questionably. "What?" Sasuke stared into Naruto's azure eyes for a long moment, seaching his irises for an answer to the question bugging him in the back of his mind. Naruto uped his cuteness, in Sasuke's book, by pouting slightly, letting his plump lips quiver a little as he arched his eyebrows in mock hurt.

"Aww, Sasu-koi doesn't want to take me out anymore for what I did? I told you I was _sowwy_..Do you want me to kiss it an make it better?..." Naruto whimpered softly, letting his eyes brim with wetness from fake tears. Sasuke's breath hitched in the back of his throat as he watched Naruto's senious act. A small blushed graced his pale cheeks as he turned his head away, trying to hide his flustered apperance unsuccessfully as he spoke. "D-damnit Naruto, stop that; I'm still taking you out to eat for christssake. Come on." Mumbling under his breath about 'stupid blondes and thier overly-rated cuteness' and pulling Naruto along with him out of the door.

A few meters from the city, Sasuke let his grip on Naruto's hand go and stuffed them in his pocket. Naruto looked in Sasuke's direction, his hands resting behind his head paciently as they walked in dead silence into the Market Distrit of Konoha. "Soooo...Sasuke.." Naruto started, as his attempt to braking the silence was answered by a low 'hn'. "Where are we going to eat anyways..?" He asked with genuine curiosity. Sasuke made eye contact with Naruto and snorted a little, looking away. "If you're hoping for Ramen, you're out of luck." Naruto practially tripped over his own feet at Sasuke's words, his eyes buldging out of his head with unadulturated shock. "WHAT?! You gotta be kidding me, Sasuke! What do you mean 'out of luck', eh? NO RAMEN? That's like giving me sugar-free candy..._COME ON_!" Naruto whined loudly, catching the attention of unsuspectiong villagers. Sasuke snikered inwardly at Naruto's childish rant, while he gave him a look that stated ' I-don't-give-a-shit-about-what-you-want-because-my-way-is-the-only-way' and kept on walking, ignoring him completly. Naruto stopped his little tantrum,one, because Sasuke was giving him the slip by walking away and, two, a crowd was growing to see what the noise was all about. _'Damn that self-centered bastard...keeping me away from my one true love...Ramen...'_

Naruto collected himself together as he put on a goofy grin and blushed embaressed at the curious villiagers. "Uh...Sorry 'bout the noise I was just...uh...having a 'manly' moment you see..." He babbled on continuosly, causing some of the nosey villagers to disperse back into the crowd from whence they came. " More like PMS-ing in my book. Poor kid..." One of the elderly villagers and her friend muttered quietly as they walked by, giggling under their breath quietly.

Sweatdropping, Naruto jogged into the direction that Sasuke departed, wondering where his boyfriend went off to. "Sasuke! Where are you?" He called ignoring the strange looks people gave him. Passing by some fruit stands, he looked around. "Wow, this crowd is getting denser by the seconds..." Naruto muttered, squeezing through a large group of pultry owners. A few minutes later impacience dripped over him and he sighed heavily. "Bastard abandoning me like that...Man, forget him, I'll go to Ichiraku's myself and eat what I want!" Making up his mind, he abandoned his search for his boyfriend and went in route toward Ichiraku Ramen Shoppe.

0o.o00o.o00o.o0

Sasuke, who was currently snickering to himself at Naruto's antics, hopped down from the building he was using as an observation tower. "Ch, that dobe. Didn't even bother looking up or sensing my chakra levels I so graciously emitted for even a regular civilian to sense." blending in with the crowd, he followed his boyfriend to Ichiraku. '_I wonder if he relizes that i'm right behind him...' _Sasuke wondered as he watched Naruto fume at aproximatly 5 metres in front of him.

"STUPID SASUKE AND HIS STUPID DISAPEARING ACTS!"

With that statement, Sasuke mentally sweatdropped. _'Nope...apparently not...'_

0o.o00o.o00o.o0

"OJII-SAN, AYAME-KUN!" Naruto yelled as he entered the ramen stand. "Ohayou Naruto-kun, how are you?" Ayame greeted as she watched the favored customer sit on a stool, grinning proudly as though he acomplished a major feat. Naruto pouted cutely and folded his arms across his chest. "I'm okay now that i'm here. CAN YOU BELEIVE IT, THOUGH?! Sasuke-teme wasn't gonna bring us here for our DATE!! That's like...like..."

"I know, i know...food suicide to you." Sasuke mumbled as he sat down next to Nauto, earning himself a glare from the blonde haired shinobi.

"Teme! where the HELL did you go?! I was looking all over for you!!"

"..." Naruto frowned slightly as Sasuke just silently stared back at him as if he just asked a stupid question.

"Well, Teme? Answer me!!"

""Hn. If you _had_ indeed looked _everywhere _for me, you would have sensed my chakra on top of a building not too far from you. AND, you would have noticed that I followed you all the way here. I was right behind you, dobe."

A nice pink filled up Naruto's cheeks as he flushed in embaressment; he pouted once again relizing his most obvious mistake and earned himself a giggle from Ayame and a smirk from his boyfriend. Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto's waist and licked his pale lips as he pressed his face into Naruto neck. "..Don't you worry, dobe. I'll make it up to you later." Naruto suppressed a moan from escaping his halfway parted lips. _' Darn it...I can never stay mad at the teme for long... turning his charm against me; It not fair!!'_

"Anyways.." Ayame contiunued, fighting down a blush of her own as she watched the near make-out session. " Would you to like to order anything while your here?" Naruto nodded lightly as Sasuke's grip tightened aruond him. " Please Sasu-koi? please please pleeeeeeeease?" Naruto whined. Sasuke unlatched himself from Naruto's neck and 'hned', giving his dobe the O.K. "Aliright, We would like one Beef ramen Special and a Miso ramen topped with egg, please." Naruto said eagerly, giving Sasuke a quick peak on the lips for letting him eat what he wanted. "Okay Naruto-kun. Your order will be right up. " Ayame said as she headed to the kitchen to tell Ojii-san their order.

"So...Sasuke..." Naruto started as he grinned, but was abruptly cut off by a pair of lips on top of his own. Sasuke's grip around his waist tightened ever so slightly as his lips passionatly carressed his own. A soft moan escaped the pair as Sasuke's skilled tounge slipped past his lips and into the warm cavarn of Naruto's mouth and they fought for domonance with a tounge battle. Their kisses became deeper, more intoxicating and more exciting with each passing moment, until they had to break free for oxygen again. A slight blush was etched on each of thier cheeks, they breath coming out in short, subtle pants. "Naruto..." Sasuke mummered as his free hand stroked the other's gently, staring into his eyes. Naruto unconciously licked his now swollen lips and stared back. The tender moment, broken by a throat clearing from embarrassment. "U-um..Naruto-kun...you f-food is ready..." Ayame said, blush undiniably huge on her cheeks, a bit of blood leaking from her nose slightly. Naruto laughed nervously and thanked her, as Sasuke shook his head.

" Sasuke- teme... you scared her away!" Sasuke snorted uncharacteristly and retorted "Well, if you hadn't looked so delectable just a few seconds ago maybe i wouldn't have sucked the breath out of you with my skills." Sasuke then leaned into Naruto's ear smirking slightly, his hand rubbing his boyfriend thigh slowly upward. "And she hadn't interrupted us...I'd probably take you right here..."

A squeeze.

"On this counter..."

A slight moan and a rub.

"And_fuck _you senseless."

An involuntary shiver of anticipation.

"You wouldn't dare, Teme--"

Sasuke ghosted his breath from Naruto's jaw to Naruto's ear and nibble on his earlobe slightly. Another moan escaped the blonde's lips as his eyes closed. Naruto knew not to mess with an Uchiha...especially when it came to _certain _things. A slight pant in Naruto's ear caused his attention to be caught once again.

"Try me."

Sasuke returned to his usual stotic prick self and began to eat his Miso, while Naruto, still a bit dazed and flustered, tryed to level his breathing and come out with a resonably good death glare in the raven's direction. _'Stupid heartless bastard...he'd better be glade I love his emo ass...otherwise...Oh, who am I kidding, I'd probably would'nt object if he wanted to fuck me here...again and again...Oh Kami-sama...please help me to control my hormones...I can already feel myself harden at the though of him..doing bad thing to me...though I still wouldn't mind..If he wanted to jump me in the middle of the street I wouldn't mind...jsut as long as none of those Yaoi Fangirls see us...they'll video record it and sell it on Ebay..'_

"N-Naruto-kun?"

Naruto looked up at the familiar voice and a flash suddenly came across his mind.

**OoOoO KYUU-VISION OoOoO**

**"Ah..Oh God..harder! I SAID Harder damnit! FUCK ME!" A low growl emited from his body as he thrusted into the smaller figure underneath him. Loud moans filled the dark room as sweat and blood mixed together into one. Harsh pants and the rocking of the bed as they moved as one. Animalistic thrusts as the figure underneath him screamed with pleasure "DEEPER! HARDER! FASTER DAMNIT! I wanna feel you---ah..AH..R-RIGHT THERE!! AH...uhnn..uh...ah...h-hit it again...AH...Y-Yess..AGAIN..." ****Never, even in his wildest dreams had he expected this to feel so sinfully good and hot**** inside another human being. "UHH..." He grunted loudly as the tightness from the other figure made his vision blur into a whitness of pure bliss as he came hard into other. A smirk crossed his lips as he rode out his orgasm and pulled out. The other panted lightly and croaked out in a small hoarse voice **

**" Where the Hell do you think you're going? I didn't tell you to leave." The person sat up and winced slightly, glaring. " I got others to fufill my needs. You were just apart of the group of my nightly fucks." The other looked shock, then growled angrily " What the hell?! You break into my home, sweet talk me into sleeping with you and now you're leaving with out so much of a goodbye? The least you could do is tell me your name!" The man laughs coldly and pulls up his ripped pants, one leg torn off from the fight they had earlier. " Why the hell should I say goodbye? It's not like i'm gonna come back and fuck you again. You shouldn't have been so willing to lose your virginity and expect a stranger to come running back for someone who's so attatched. Look, You don't even need to know my name, you'll be able to figure it out on your own. I've always been here as the object of your dark desires...you'll just have to figure it out on your own **_**Neji-kun**_**." He drawled out, grabbing his chin and glaring into Neji's eyes with malice. Neji growled as the other snickered "..Hmm...I wonder what **_**Gaara-kun**_** would say if he found out his Lover has been fucked by some stranger he just met and was **_**willing**_** to give it up?" Neji paled at that sentence as the other man let go of his chin and headed to the window. Grabbing his shirt and throwing it over his shoulder, he sat on the window sill and gave a glance back at Neji who pitifully stared back. Smirking the other growled out " Oh, and if you here from your two cousions Hinata and Hanibi about some mysterious stranger bedding them. That would probably be me." And with that, the man jumped out the window and dissappeared into the night.**

**OoOoO END KYUU-VISION OoOoO**

Naruto smiled nervously, panicking slightly '_What the hell was that vision just now? Was That Neji? I don't understand' _ "Hey Neji! Hinata-Chan and Hanabi-Tan, How are you guys?" All three of the Hyuuga's blushed as Naruto smiled, his eyes flashing red slightly before turning back to thier original azure color. Neji paled slightly as he noticed the small change in eye color and he felt Hanabi's grip tighten on his arm as she looked down shamefully. Sasuke, who was taking this all in, felt the air around them get thicker by each passing second. _'What's going on with these guys?'_ Neji cleared his throat, as Hinata shifted from foot to foot, mumbling under her breath.

A though formed in Naruto's head and before he could stop himself it slipped out "Hey _Neji-kun_...stay right there, okay? Ah- I gotta letter from _Gaara-kun _yesterday about--" A thus, Neji paled and fainted. Hinata eeped quietly and held her cousion up. Hanabi proptly crossed her hands across her chest as if to hide what was underneath from Naruto.

"Okay, okay...what in BLOODY HELL do you want!!" Sasuke growled out, as he held Naruto's wrist tightly, and pulled him closer possessively. Hinata, who managed to wake Neji up, whimpered slightly as she stared at Naruto. "..N-Naruto -kun...we...were gonna have to...um..." She looked down and Neji grabbed hold of Naruto's wrist and tugged. Naruto's eyes widened as he struggled. His and Sasuke's ramen totally forgotten at this point.

"Naruto-kun, We are here to take you to Hokage-sama---"

"What the hell does Tsunade-baa-chan want with me?! I didn't do anything!!!"

"To undergo mind probing by the ANBU Black OPS Unit. Please coroparate with us for--"

"Wha--? W-what? S-Sasuke--- Don't let them take me!! PLEASE!!" Naruto cried out as he was dragged out of the Raman Shoppe by Neji and Hinata, Hanabi tailing them. Naruto started to scream at the top of his lungs, struggling to break free from the grip that the the two Hyuuga's had on him. Hanabi promptly stared into the frightened eyes of Uzumaki Naruto and hit a spot behind his neck, rendering him unconsious. _'Sasuke...' _was Naruto's last thought he had before he was overcome by darkness.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was tailing the Hyuuga's and rushed off in front of them, appering in the way of the 'kidnappers' angrily punching Neji in the face, his sharingan activated once he spoted Naruto's unconcious form behind them. " Hyuua...before you take another a step forward...I need to know on thing..." He growled out. Neji lifted a brow and paled slightlya he felt the killing intent around the Uchiha.

"What the Hell do you think you're doing to my Boyfriend!! Explain yourself Hyuuga. _NOW!_" Neji winced at the tone and sighed, his mind in turmoil. " Uchiha Sasuke, If I do tell you the situation, you have to promise me that we will be able to take Uzumaki to the base. And you should know what that means...you are one of the top elite ANBU we have other than the Black Ops." Sasuke growled lightly and took a step forward toward Neji. As of right now it didn't matter if Neji was a fellow ANBU, his Koi was in danger and he was not going to let anything stand in his way that was against him getting him back. _'But...if I don't know what's going on..then I may not get him back...or be able to help..' _ Sasuke nodded curtly as he watched Neji pick Naruto up bridial style and stare at him softly. Sasuke growled as he watched helplessly at the hand Neji used to stroke his Koi's cheek and whipe the dirt he had on his forehead off with a caring hand. Silence filled the area as the Hyuuga heiresses shift unconfortably. Finally Neji spoke.

"Sasuke-kun we suspect Naruto-kun has done something that he had no control over and we, as the villages elite force, must make sure nothing is going wrong with the seal he has. Last night, a few people were attacked in an..._odd_ way and we fear he.." Neji looked toward Naruto for infrence "..might have something to do with it."

Sasuke nodded, taking in the information " So what are you inplying?"

Neji was silent for a moment then spoke qiuetly "..We think his mind was taken over by Kyuubi in his unconcious state and proceeded to force himself onto some shinobi as they slept." Sasuke gave him the eye, wanting to say what he ment. Even though he truely knew what was going on in the back of his mind... especially they way Naruto was dressed this morning, but he wanted to here the words. Neji got the mental message and spoke again just as silently as before.

"We think he raped some Shinobi."

0o.o00o.o00o.o0

**A/N: Hey people who love me..even though I died for a little while...major writer's block and me being to lazy to do anything about it. But, i know you were awaiting the next chapter, so in two weeks you will have 3...THREE... chappies in a row to make up for lost time. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. They will be a little shorter than usual, but atleast you will have the entertainment of having chappies, ne? No flames...they will be thrown right back at you b/c i WILL track yout flaming ass down!! (growls angrily) I'm right now in a good mood so don't ruin it,ok? Don't worry..Naruto will soon get intimate with Sasuke, but I have to get ride of Kyuubi's horny ass out the way..but hey with out Kyuu this story would not be in exsistance. Excuse my ENGLISH and my GRAMMAR MISTAKES. I don't have a BETA so its hard enough to write and try to find as many spelling and grammatical errors as you can without gouging your eyeballs out from stress.**

**Anyway, I love yall, R R &Mo, please..i need some encouragement...encourage me! - Oh and to those who participated in guessing the characters who'd show up ( Neji, Hinata, and Hanabi) you all get virtual cookies and get a whole SasuNaru oneshot dedicated to you in the way you want it written! Good, ne?!**


	5. Horrible Lies and a bit of Denial

SUMMARY: Unfortunatly for Naruto, Kyuubi's untimely sex-drive has gone OVERBOARD, and Kyuubi refuses to contain herself

**SUMMARY: **Unfortunatly for Naruto, Kyuubi's untimely sex-drive has gone OVERBOARD, and Kyuubi refuses to contain herself. So at night, she takes over in secret to 'assult' her next victim. Nearly everyone in the village of Konoha has either fallin' for Naruto's crotch or painstakenly stalked him for the juciest of Blackmail, and Naruto has no idea what's gotten into these people! Kyuubi has her eyes set on a certian Uchiha and Naruto is just starting to pull the pieces together. Will Naruto be able to keep Kyuubi in check, before she screws the love of his life?

**AGES: **Naruto- 17

Sakura- 17

Sasuke- 18

Lee- 18

Gaara- 18

Kakashi- 35

Jariya- 55

Tsunade- 55 (still using her jutsu)

Shizune- 25

Choji- 17

_Hinata-16_

_Neji-18_

_Hanabi-14 1/2_

** Other Character's will be added throughout the story, New characters in **_**ITALICS**_

**RATED: **M, future yaoi, lemons, and mild lime scenes. Fluff, dirty jokes, Adult Language

**Disclaimer: **I'm gonna say this ONCE, and ONLY ONCE! Naruto is not mine, nor will he ever BE mine. Do you ever see this story ever happening on T.V.? No? Thought so.

**Blah blah blah- Kyuubi Talking, or someone yelling at people**

_**Blah blah blah- Kyuubi Thinking**_

_Blah blah blah- Thinking _

Blah blah blah- Talking

**Horrible Lies and a bit of Denial**

Sasuke stared awstruck as the words replayed in the back of him mind over and over again. _"N-naruto...doing THAT with other people..?..No, that bastard is lying..Naruto couldn't have...c-could he..?" _Regainig his conposure, Sasuke sent a death glare toward Neji's direction causing the other male to wince. Crossing his arms across his chest, Sasuke molded his lie together in the sweet melody that was his voice; even if he couldn't believe it himself, he through in a smirk for good measure. "Naruto couldn't have done any of those things; He was with me all yesterday evening and we even _slept _together." Neji bit back a growl, taking Sasuke's wording the wrong way. '_How could HE sleep with Sasuke when he came on to me...unless that was someone completly-- No, It had to be Naruto, or Kyuubi, or whatever...His chakra signiture was the same as Naruto's...I think...' _Neji bit the inside of his lip, trying to gather his thoughts. Maybe they needed more time to figure this out and not jump to conclusions. Sasuke, oblivious to Neji's distress, calmly walked toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder, eyeing his boyfriends' limp form in his arms; His sharingan fully activated.

"Hyuuga..."

Neji gulped, his throat suddenly as dry as the desserts of Suna. He glanced toward Hinata and Hanabi, who we obviously ready for a battle; They both had kunai out and in thier attaking stance. Neji, once again growling, cleared his throat. "Hanabi. Hinata. Stand down."

"But, Neji-kun--"

"I said STAND DOWN, Hanabi. _Now_."

Neji placed Naruto in Sasuke's arms and backed away, his pale expressionless eyes locked onto Sasuke's obsidian ones. A silent understanding was passed between thier gazes, before the Hyuuga squad reluctantly retreacted as they dissapeared in a poof of smoke. Sasuke sighed quietly and gracefully sat down on the ground, pulling Naruto up onto his lap. His mind raced as he felt himself gazing down at his soon-to-be-lover thinking over the word Hyuuga had spoken to him only moments ago. How the hell could the man come up with something so horrendous and..._discusting_. Sasuke's bottom lip twitched slightly and the corners of his mouth tugged downward in an undiniable frown. His hand wandered across Naruto's arms and traveled up to his cheeks as he stroked them gently, earning him a small shiver from the younger boy.

How could **his** adorably _sexy _dobe ...do such naughty and dirty things to other people...

It was...

That just was...

_it __**had **__to be..._

"Yeah..." Sasuke said, voicing his thoughts. He was not going to let some stupid rumor started by Neji destroy his relationship. And he would definantly be kepping tabs on Naruto from now on...even though he _knows _he can't be doing anything like that. Any how, how could Naruto? He'd be with Sasuke all the time...and _if _he wants to fuck, we Sasuke will give him a good fuck and more. No biggie. Sasuke shrugged away his disconfort and made up his mind, as he ran his fingers along the markings on the younger males' cheek.

"Anything that loser said couldn't have been anything short of impossible."

**A/N:...AND CUT!! How was that for a short chappy? Hey it may be a filler, but it does have its importance...we ALL know what Kyuu's been up to except Sasuke of course...and Neji...he's just a confused dumbtart XD. Any way, one more chapter this week and don't worry smut lovers...by the end of this week, Kyuu and Naru will have a little fun...BUT I AINT TELLIN WHO!! (cackles evily) Oh, and sorry for the delay... my internet sevice has been down and I couldn't even update for you guys!! I WILL make it up to you, if its the last thing I do ( Which will probably BE the last thing...;)**

**See Ya, R,R,&Mo...till Friday of course...I'll try to put it up early so you'll have all day to read it -**


	6. A little confrontation

SUMMARY: Unfortunatly for Naruto, Kyuubi's untimely sex-drive has gone OVERBOARD, and Kyuubi refuses to contain herself

**SUMMARY: **Unfortunatly for Naruto, Kyuubi's untimely sex-drive has gone OVERBOARD, and Kyuubi refuses to contain herself. So at night, she takes over in secret to 'assult' her next victim. Nearly everyone in the village of Konoha has either fallin' for Naruto's crotch or painstakenly stalked him for the juciest of Blackmail, and Naruto has no idea what's gotten into these people! Kyuubi has her eyes set on a certian Uchiha and Naruto is just starting to pull the pieces together. Will Naruto be able to keep Kyuubi in check, before she screws the love of his life?

**AGES: **Naruto- 17

Sakura- 17

Sasuke- 18

Lee- 18

Gaara- 18

Kakashi- 35

Jariya- 55

Tsunade- 55 (still using her jutsu)

Shizune- 25

Choji- 17

Hinata-16

Neji-18

Hanabi-14 1/2

_Shikamaru-18_

** Other Character's will be added throughout the story, New characters in **_**ITALICS**_

**RATED: **M, future yaoi, lemons, and mild lime scenes. Fluff, dirty jokes, Adult Language

**Disclaimer: **I'm gonna say this ONCE, and ONLY ONCE! Naruto is not mine, nor will he ever BE mine. Do you ever see this story ever happening on T.V.? No? Thought so.

**Blah blah blah- Kyuubi Talking, or someone yelling at people**

_**Blah blah blah- Kyuubi Thinking**_

_Blah blah blah- Thinking _

Blah blah blah- Talking

**A little Confrentation**

" You dare to disobey my orders, Neji?" A voice sounded from the center of the room. The person who owned the voice was sitting firmly in a chair facing the huge window looking out toward the city of Konoha, her back facing The newly recruited ANBU Sqaud she had sent out for the sole perpose of bringing Uzumaki Naruto for a discussion.

"Hokage-sama...please forgive me.. I might have been mistaken that it was certernly Uzumaki that attacked me.." Neji spoke in an even tone, though on the inside he was petrified. Hinata and Hanabi stood sternly behing their leader, eyes staring at the ground intently, guiltridden. Tsunade turned around in her chair, a small squeeking sound, coming from the swivel. "No. You weren't mistaken, Neji. Which was perecisouly the reason I had sent you out to gather him." She sighed heavlly, her hand atoumatically reaching for the bottle of half full sake and taking a swige. Slaming the bottle down on her desk, she caused the young ANBU to jump slightly.

Neji was the first to speak out, his voice higher than normal. "Tsunade-sama, we apologize for our fai--"

"Shut up, Neji. No one likes a kiss up." She glared heatedly, then crossed her arms underneath her massive chest. "Look, let me explain the sitcuation about Naruto. You know about seventeen years ago, Kyuubi no Kitsune attacked our village and Yondaime sacrificed his life by sealing the evil fox demon inside of a baby boy..a newborn at that. You've also known for a few years that that baby boy turned out to be the one and only Knuckleheaded Ninja that goes by the name of Uzumaki Naruto, right?" She watched as they nodded their heads in respose as she continued, picking up her Sake once again. "Well, during those few years of Naruto's existance, The Elders of the counsel and previous Hokage..i believe was Sarutobi at the time, decided to do some research on Kyuubi's power limit and reproductive system and other things...

As it turns out, Kyuubi is nether a male or a female, but may take an appereance of either genders and obtain both sexual reproductive organs of both sexes for reproductive perposes. And from there we learned about the demon foxes Mating Ritual."

Tsunade's eybrows rose slighly, as her studious gaze locked on with a blushing Hinata and Hanabi's. " What wrong with you two?" Hinata's blush deepend as she squeaked, covering her face. Hanabi, on the other hand, cleared her throat, her blush subsiding a little. "So , what you're trying to say is...N-Naruto-kun could become...impre..impregnated because of the demon fox.?"

Tsunade leaned forward some in her chair, her monsterocity of a bosom resting on the desk as she rolled her eyes. "Of course not. We wouldn't be here discussing the poor boy if he obviously couldn't get pregnant by some weird ritual the demon inside him wasn't performing..." Sarcasm rolled of her in drolls.

"So Tsunade-sama, what does that ritual have to do with what happend to ME?" Neji Interupted, his eyes bludging slightly, his calm and precicly perched demeanor vanishing with his morale. Tsunade turned her attention back to Neji, her eyes glimmering humorusly. " Well, Neji, I was getting to that. It seems that Kyuubi is in heat and you were a primary target. Apperently, you must smell of some sort of lust, being it either bloodlust or lust of passion or sex or what not, because, you would have not been targeted if you weren't."

Neji's face paled consierably as Tsunade held back a chuckle._' And I think I know exactly what he was doing before it happened...'_

"W-what the hell were you doing to have Kyuubi be attracted to you in such a way?" Hanabi stated loudly as all eyes were on him. Neji's facial expressions could have topped Naruto's any day. Neji's eyes widened and buldged comically as his skin paled to match even the purest of white. Saliva pooled in the back of his throat as a strange gurgling noise was emitted as he opened and closed his mouth like a fish.

Tsunade slapped her forehead as laughing came from the lowest pits of her gut.

0o.o00o.o00o.o0

Naruto groaned slightly as his eyes opened to moving darkness. _'What the..? Is it night time already? How the hell...?' _He went to move his hands, but the felt weighed down by something warm. "Naruto? You awake?" The voice struck him before the words even processed in his mind. "Sa..Sasuke.." He mumbled, his voice straining and rough. Naruto tried clear his throat, but sudden brightness caught him off gaurd as he clamped his eyes shut tightly.

Sasuke's deep chuckle could be felt through Naruto's whole being. "You didn't relise that i've been carrying you, have you, koi?" Sasuke stated, his arms wrapped tightly around his boyfriends' thighs. The quick movement against the back of Sasuke's neck answered his question. He paused for a moment, and tilted his head so his gaze could lock onto Naruto's; he had finally decided to peak over Sasuke's shoulder.

"Do you want to get down, Naruto? We're halfway to the house."

Something in Naruto stirred at Sasuke's voice. A heated thought passed through Naruto's mind as he nodded and hopped off of the Uchiha staring up at him, a strange glint in his eyes. Sasuke stared back, eyebrow raised.

"..."

"..."

"Okay, Dobe. What do you want."

Naruto silently grabbed a hold of Sasuke's hand and pulled him toward a path he had explored resently. As they traveled, the forest sourrounding them seemed to get less denser untill they were out in the open, a natural hot spring placed before their eyes. Sasuke stared down at Naruto, his fingers still laced against is boyfriends, and pulled the younger male against his chest. "Now why would you bring me here, Dobe? got something planned for the two of us?" Sasuke watched Naruto's tanned cheeks gain color, as he placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

"Nah, I got nothing planned really. I just wanted to share this with you, since our day was interrupted by Neji's Squad and all. I wanted to make it up to you..."

Sasuke rolled his eyes as he let Naruto out of his grasp so they could change. Sasuke, who hadn't planned on getting wet, feigned changing his clothes as he watched Naruto undress tauntingly. Naruto, for once, wasn't wearing that stupid orange jumpsuit he had, he actually had something desent on...

Slowly, humming to himself, Naruto took off his white Konoha shirt and began unbuttoning his Khaki short, but...

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke blinked and stared at Naruto's face, the dirty thoughts leaving his mind for a moment. Naruto's eyes were starting to water slightly, his hands still on his shorts, the button twisted at an odd angle.

"Sasuke? Can you help me..?"

Sasuke's continued to stare at Naruto, his mind going numbingly blank _'Oh Shit. He wants me to help him unbutton his shorts...' _Naruto stepped closer toward him, his eyes still gleaming with that strange glint and tears. Naruto didn't stop walking until his hands were resting ontop of Sasuke's chest, and his body was pressed hard against the Uchiha.

Naruto grinned, running his palms against the cotton tee of Sasuke's shirt, causing a certain Uchiha's heartbeat to quicken and his breath to hitch. "Aren't you going to help me, Sasu-koi? Please...?"

A small gulp was heard.

"Che. Dobe."

0o.o00o.o00o.o0

Hanabi and Hinata tried to contain thier laughter.

They really did.

But when Tsunade had asked him what had happened before the attack, and to tell her EXACTLY what he had been doing, to EVERY last detail... you couldn't help but dig your own grave, because they nearly died of laughter. It was bad enough that he was attacked, but for such a reason to...lower himself to such...it was just to funny.

Even the gaurds on the otherside of Tsunade's office door were probably having a good laugh.

"So..um...N-neji..." Tsunade said, the giggles still evident in her voice as she whiped a few tears from the corners of her eyes. Neji, whose face was now making out with the flower pot in the corner of her office because he was too embarassed to look at anyone, made a noise that was supposed to be approvel for continuing the conversation. Tsunade couldn't even find her voice to finish her question because surprisingly, Hinata did.

"You were masturbating to gay porn, thinking about Gaara AND was having phone sex with some guy?! Does the term 'HORNY SEX CRAVER' mean ANYTHING to you?!"

Now, the fact that Hinata had said it, It just made thing worst.Thats because, Hanabi, who was holding Neji's pack, unzipped it to find a look for a camra so she could take a pitcure for a forced memory so Neji would never be able to live it down. Going through the pack, she found papers, books, scrolls, until she hit something plastic, thick, and hard almost like it was a...

"OH MY GOD! OH MY FUCKING GOD NEJI, GROSS!!"

Flinging the pack across the room,still unzipped with all its unzipped glory, the pack hit Tsunade in the face and landed on the dest with a flat thud, all the items, hidden or not, sprawling lazily across her desk. Tsunade glared at Hanabi, who was now sanatizing her hands clean with bleach. "What the HELL was that fo--Oh my...N-Neji..."

A loud screaching yell echoed through the Hokage tower, causing Shikamaru, Choji and Lee to pause momentarily behind the Hokages' office door. Shikamaru's eyebrow raised slightly as he glanced at the gaurds, thier faces slightly pink and...where they laughing?

"What the hell's going on here, Shikamaru?" Choji murmered, stuffing another handful of chips into his waiting mouth.

"Choji-san, I do not think any thing is going on here that is not normal for Tsunade-sama" Lee stated, smiling widely.

_'Troublesome' _ shrugging, Shikamaru knocked on the door as the yelling quieted to loud laughing. Glancing at the gaurds once more, he openened the door without hesitation to find...

_  
_**A/N:...AND CUT!! I know you hate me now, giving you a cliffhanger on both Sasu and Naru gettin' it on and on what was inside Neji's bag!! I'll give the first 10 people a Virtual Cookie and a Virtual SasuNaru Makeout Plushie if you can guess what the hell was in that bag of Neji's..or if you give me a pointer on what Sasuke and Naruto should totally do in the hot springs...either one. School start(s)/(ed) Tuesday for me so, don't expect much till i get settled in my comp class...I'll beable to update maybe twice a week if i can find the inspiration from you guys to...if you want me to continue this story tell me, alright?! NO FLAMES! or, i'll track your review and send evil little Ramen bots to get you...(Evil laughter)..**

**Hint #1 (Neji's Bag): It has something that you need to carry with you..guys and guys (seriously, i mean it guys! The two most important things here if you love kinkyness...(oops.)...)..**

**Hint#2 (Neji's Bag): I'd return these, before I have to pay for keeping them to long**

**Hint #3 (Neji's Bag): LUBE..LUBE...LUBE..LUBE...oh wait..that would be an answer, wouldn't it?**

**R,R&Mo...Read, Review, and Move on...**


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